


Rejected & Accepted

by sebastian_michaelishive



Series: The Demonverse [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Acxa is being a good friend, God just let them be together, Heartbreak, Lance and Lotor are a mess, Lance doesn't know Lotor is an Incubus, Light Angst, Lotor doesn't know Lance is a Warlock, M/M, Mentioned Keith (Voltron), Mutual Pining, Or about Axias, Past Child Abuse, Pre-Relationship, Regret, Rejection, Temporarily Unrequited Love, past abusive relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-09-01 10:45:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16763587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sebastian_michaelishive/pseuds/sebastian_michaelishive
Summary: Lance asks Lotor out. 3 different times.





	Rejected & Accepted

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't beta'd at all. And i wrote it half asleep so if shit don't make sense please let me know!

The words echoed throughout his mind.

“I'm...I...no. I'm sorry Lance. I cannot.”

The words brought back a sting in his heart Lance wished he could forget, bringing him back to a painful moment that had happened only hours ago. He sat on his bed, head hanging low as if he were a wilting flower, reminiscent of the bouquet of purple and blue flowers that were now lying in the trash. His phone began to vibrate; it was Keith. He probably wanted to check on him.

He ignored it. Lance didn't feel like talking right now.

Keith had been the one to say that the worst that could have happened was rejection, and boy was he right. Lance always knew there was a possibility that Lotor would indeed reject him, but he imagined he would brush it off and manage himself with grace. He was wrong. Lance hadn't actually known how head over heels in love he was with Lotor until the cursed words came out, and instead of just cracking slightly, his heart crumbled into pieces.

What had happened, Lance wondered. Where did they go wrong, where did he go wrong? Had it been too soon, had he come off too strong? He was so sure they'd been okay. Lance had fallen in love with him the moment Keith's friend Acxa introduced him at the bar all those months ago, and instead of going for it right away, he'd slowed his own heartbeat down. They'd gotten to know each other, gotten close. They were friends, and Lance hadn't dared to push that limit for a long time, afraid of ruining their relationship.

But Lance, confident and charming Lance, overestimated himself and went ahead and ruined it anyway. His hopes were vanquished as soon as Lotor delivered his fateful line, their friendship too, possibly, and yet...he couldn't bring himself to hate him for that. Lance knew a lot of men who would have turned that hurt into bitterness and anger right back at Lotor and he...he didn't deserve that. That wouldn't have been fair to him. Lance took the risk, sure (and he knew it), but it was Lotor who ultimately had the final say, and he had spoken.

Even then, Lance still couldn't help but wonder why he'd said no. It was natural after all, to reflect upon oneself after a rejection. Maybe he was getting over someone himself. Maybe he had other things to focus on. Or maybe, just maybe, as much as it hurt Lance to think about it

Lotor simply didn't like him back.

* * *

It was the fifth time Acxa had knocked now.

Lotor leaned back and closed his eyes, exhaling softly, breathing in and out over and over until he found the strength to call out to her without breaking down.

“Go away,” he called out in the most tired voice he could muster. “I'm shitting.”

He could practically hear her eyes rolling behind the door. “Oh please,” she said exasperatedly, “no one takes a shit with their pants on.”

Lotor grumbled a little from where he sat on the covered toilet seat, with his pants very much on.

“You can't see me.” he retorted.

“I don't have to. People don't shit continuously for an hour straight.”

“People are different. And have you heard of a thing called diarrhea? Or perhaps constipation?”

“I've known you for my entire life Lotor. You've never taken more than 15 minutes on the toilet with or without those things. Now, would you please stop being difficult and just talk to me? What's wrong?”

He didn't answer her. He didn't want to answer her. Quite frankly, all he wanted to do was die and return back to the hellish place he had come from. For fucks sake, what the hell had he been thinking??

“Alright, that's it. You're making me do this.”

His eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. She seriously could _not_ be doing this.

“Acxa,” he tried, pleading with her. He really, _really_ didn't want to do this right now. “No, please-”

It was too late. In a split second, she was there, standing next to him near the toilet with the door still locked. Lotor buried his face in his hands, trying to avoid her pointed gaze, and she raised a brow.

“Enjoying your shit here I see,” she said, pulling him over to sit on the edge of the bathtub. “Now then. What's wrong, Lotor?”

He fell into a moment of silence, mulling over the incident. Lotor squeezed his eyes shut as he remembered the devastated look on Lance's face as he denied him his request. It filled him with a deep shame to know he was the one at fault for that, and he was sure the memory would torture him for the rest of his days.

“Lance,” he began, swallowing harshly, “he...he asked me out.”

Acxa’s eyes brightened up. “Oh, Lotor,” she said, a soft smile growing on her face. “That's so grea-”

“I said no.”

The smile was gone as quickly as it came. “What?” she gawked in utter disbelief. “I thought you liked him. Even Axias is anxious to see who it is you've been clamoring away about every time I come over.”

Lotor's head shot up. “Axias knows??”

“She doesn't know his name,” Acxa shrugged. “But she knows there's someone out there making her daddy really happy, and she's feeling pretty protective.”

“How protective can a four year old get?” Lotor asked. “She's but a pup.”

“Yes, but she loves you, and that's all it takes sometimes. She doesn't want you getting hurt, which is also why you'd better quit your brooding and just tell me what's with you.”

He knew he should just spit it out and say it, but Lotor found it difficult to speak past the guilt that overwhelmed him. He managed to break his silence after a minute.

“Fuck, Acxa, he was so happy,” Lotor told her, his voice dwindling down to a murmur in a matter of seconds. “You should have seen his face. He did everything right, right down to the flowers.”

“He brought your favorites?” she asked.

Lotor nodded, suddenly unable to see clearly for some reason. “Damn right,” he said, “a whole fucking bouquet of them. He was so kind when he asked me...and I wanted to say yes so badly. I actually thought I was going to, but I didn't.”

He felt a finger running down the side of his face, and he realized it was Acxa; she was wiping away a stray tear that had rolled it's way down his cheek. Lotor managed a grateful simper before continuing on, saddened once more.

“I don't know why I said no, Acxa,” he whispered, sniffling a little. “I thought- no, I know- I love him. Lance treated me so well during our friendship, I know he would have continued to do so had I said yes. And he's so wonderful with children too; Axias would have liked him so much.”

He took a moment to calm himself down. “But lately it seems like...that’s been the deal breaker for anyone who’s expressed even a small amount of interest in me. They’re all set to go, but then the moment I say I have a child, they vanish. No one wants anyone to do with her.”

Acxa rubbed his back gently, comforting him.

"Did he know about Axias?” she inquired softly. “I know you two started to get close but...I also know there were some things you kept away. You know, for his own safety.”

Lotor shook his head. “No,” he admitted rather tiredly. “I didn’t. I think I would have told him about my being an incubus before I told him about Axias. I just worry about her so much, especially after what happened with…my last relationship.”

Acxa grimaced, remembering the situation a lot more clearly than she’d like to. Lotor’s ex had been tolerant of Axias for the last 2 years, and had even happily accepted his marriage proposal. However, her relationship with the little girl had gone downhill from there, becoming a hateful mess. It finally ended, leaving Axias almost seriously injured, a broken engagement, and a restraining order against her. She was not to step within 15 feet of Lotor or his family, whoever that may be.

Lotor still refused to speak her name.

“Lance won't do that to you,” Acxa assured him. “If he's anything like you say he is, he'll accept the whole package. And I'm sure he won't hold this against you; he respects too much to do so.”

“I know that,” Lotor sighed, rubbing his temple. “Maybe...Maybe I'm just not ready to be with somebody else yet. That could be it too, couldn't it?”

“Perhaps,” Acxa replied, looking down at her phone to check the time. She gave a little frown at the clock on her screen. It read 9:30pm.

Lotor didn't miss the look of disdain on her face. “Go,” he sighed, pulling her up with him as he stood from the edge of the tub. “I'll be fine, and you need to rest for work tomorrow.”

Acxa bit her lip, clearly upset at the prospect of having to leave her friend alone, especially when he was going through a tough time. She opened her mouth to protest, but Lotor wasn't having any of it.

“I promise I'll be fine, Acxa.” he insisted, leading her down the stairs. He helped her put on her coat, which he'd taken down from the rack beside the door.

“It's not the end of the world.”

“You could have fooled me,” she muttered, pulling him in for a tight hug. It was unexpected (she wasn't too fond of physical affection), but Lotor returned it anyway 

“How in Hell did I ever get such a good friend?” he whispered, and he felt her shake slightly in his arms as she gave a small laugh.

“Beats me,” she said, pulling back after a moment or two. “Take care of yourself, Lotor.”

He nodded, giving her the faintest of smiles if only to reassure her for a moment, and she was off. Lotor watched her walk all the way down the sidewalk to her car, making sure she got in safe. Her headlights switched on, too far for the brightness to affect Lotor, and the car pulled out of the lot and sped off. He didn’t have to watch her at this point; she was fine, but he didn’t want to go back to wallowing in his own sorrows so soon. He kept an eye on her car as it drove away, the car growing smaller and smaller in his view until it was a mere dot, then nothing at all, and soon the only thing that felt small in the world was himself.

Lotor took a moment for himself, inhaling deeply, taking in the fresh night air, and releasing it back out again. It didn’t do anything for him.

Defeated, he stepped back inside and closed the door, locking it.

* * *

He was awakened around 11pm to the sound of someone palming the door, as if searching for something on it. It was most likely Axias looking for the doorknob. She was getting better at locating things, but seeing as she was still only four, her height didn’t give her the best advantage.

Lotor got up with a yawn, warning her beforehand that he was about to open the door. She was standing there in her pink little pajamas, holding her favorite stuffie in her arms: a bear she named Button. Lotor got it for her when she was two, and she’s never been without it since. Axias hugged Button to her as she tilted her head up, as if she really could see where Lotor was.

“Daddy,” she said timidly, “can I sleep with you tonight?”

“Sure, darling,” he told her softly, letting her find her way to his bed as he closed the door.

He smiled as he saw her little legs dangling wildly as she tried to make her way onto the bed, helping her up and into it. He tucked her in snugly before climbing in himself, hugging her close. Lotor kissed the top of her head before whispering softly to her.

“What is it, dear? Did you have a nightmare?”

He felt her shake her head against his chest, and a little arm shot out, trying to wrap itself around his body.

“No,” she told him, “you’re sad.” 

Lotor blinked, taken aback. _That_ was not the answer he’d been expecting at all.

“I-I’m sad?” he asked, confused as hell. It was no surprise that his daughter was beyond intuitive; he supposed it was natural since women were a bit more keen on picking up emotion. But...hadn’t she been _asleep_ by the time he’d come home from the disaster at the bar? He called Acxa on his way home to make sure, and she’d confirmed it.

How...how did she know??

“Yeah,” she murmured, snuggling up against him. “You got hurt today. But not like on the outside. You got hurt on the inside.”

“On the inside?”

“Yeah. In your heart.”

Lotor stiffened, a bit frightened at the accuracy of his daughter’s words. His heart, hm? Now wasn’t that convenient?

“Why are you letting yourself be sad, Daddy?” he heard her ask. Lotor felt a lump forming in his throat, and he was suddenly reminded of an earlier question.

_‘Why did you say no?’_

“I don’t want you to be sad anymore, Daddy. I want you to be happy, and someone else wants to make you happy too.”

_‘Why did you say no?’_

_‘Why are you letting yourself be sad?’_

_‘Someone else wants to make you happy too.’_

Lance’s face popped up in his mind, that bright smile, those kind, blue eyes. It wouldn’t go away, _he_ wouldn’t go away, and it made Lotor angry, but not at Lance. He was angry at himself.

The lump got bigger, and he had to try a bit harder this time to swallow it down.

“Do they?” he whispered, not daring to go any higher than that.

He had many more questions inside of his head, but he was distracted by a tired noise from below his chin. It didn't take a genius to figure out that it was Axias; she'd let out a drowsy yawn. That was enough talking for tonight then, he decided.

“Get some sleep, my baby,” he mumbled, placing one last kiss atop her head. “We’re going to have a busy day tomorrow with Sophia at the park.”

“Okay.” Axias yawned a final time, showing off her little baby fangs. “Goodnight Daddy. I love you.”

Whatever questions Lotor had about what she knew, he decided to leave them unanswered for now. He watched her eyes flutter slowly until they shut, finally falling asleep.

“I love you too, Axias,” he said, though it’d take a while for him to go to sleep. He managed to get some shut eye a while later, and dreamed of dark blue seas.~

**Author's Note:**

> It'll get better later on.
> 
> I hoped y'all liked! Comments and kudos are appreciated. So is constructive criticism. 
> 
> Come yell at me on Tumblr @yes-my-paladin or chat with me on Discord @syn.sin#3512


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